How to Become "That Girl" Without Changing Who You Are

Curious about the "that girl" trend but don't want to lose yourself in the process? This guide breaks down 5 small, doable shifts, from your morning ritual to your skincare habits, that build that calm, put-together energy without a full personality overhaul. Includes my go-to picks for pulling it off.

MINDSET

Her Soft Era

8/28/20263 min read

You've seen her all over your feed, up before the sun, sipping her matcha, gliding through a spotless kitchen in linen pants like she has it all figured out. "That girl" energy is everywhere right now, and it's tempting to think you need a total personality overhaul to get there.

You don't. The "that girl" aesthetic isn't about becoming a different person, it's about becoming a more intentional version of the one you already are. Here's how to build that energy without losing yourself in the process.

1. Start With One Ritual, Not a Whole Routine

You don't need a 12-step morning routine to feel like "that girl." Pick one small ritual that feels good and do it consistently; a slow cup of tea, five minutes of stretching, journaling one line before bed.

Consistency in one small thing builds the identity faster than perfection in ten things you'll abandon by Thursday. Most people fail at "becoming that girl" not because they lack discipline, but because they try to change everything at once. Pick one habit. Master it. Let the rest build from there.

2. Let Your Space Reflect Your Energy

You don't have to renovate your apartment. Small shifts change how a space feels, and that feeling follows you into how you show up:

  • Tidy your desk before bed so mornings start clear

  • Swap harsh overhead lighting for a lamp or candle

  • Keep one surface completely clutter-free, always

A soft, textured throw draped over your couch or bed does more for "curated" energy than almost anything else in a room ; it's the easiest visual shortcut to that calm, put-together aesthetic.

My Pick:

This linen throw blanket; soft, neutral, and instantly makes a couch or bed look styled.

3. Move Your Body in a Way You Actually Enjoy

"That girl" isn't about punishing workouts, it's about movement that feels like self-respect, not self-punishment. Walking, pilates, stretching, dancing in your kitchen while you cook. The goal is consistency, not intensity. A 20-minute walk you actually do beats a 60-minute workout you dread and skip.

4. Protect Your Skin Like It's Part of Your Identity

You don't need a 10-step routine. A simple, consistent skincare habit does more for that "glowy" look than any amount of makeup:

  • Cleanse morning and night

  • Moisturize while skin is still damp

  • SPF, every single day, rain or shine

That last one is non-negotiable if you actually want the glow. Sun protection is the single biggest factor in skin staying smooth, even-toned, and youthful over time.

My Pick:

This lightweight SPF moisturizer; it doubles as your moisturizer and sunscreen, so it's one step instead of two.

5. Get Intentional With Your Time, Not Just Your Aesthetic

The version of you that feels put-together isn't scrolling until 1am and waking up in a panic. Block 20 minutes in the evening to prep for tomorrow:

  • Lay out your clothes

  • Tidy one surface

  • Write your top three priorities for the next day

It's not glamorous, but it's the actual engine behind the glow. The aesthetic is downstream of the habit, not the other way around.

The Real Secret

"That girl" isn't a persona you put on. She's just you, minus the chaos and plus a little intention. You don't need to change who you are, you need to protect your energy, care for your space and body, and let the rest follow naturally.

Start with one thing from this list today. Not all five. One.

Get it here
SPF moisturizer
Get it here
Linen blanket